Changes in Relationship After A Breakup | My ex is different.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012 21:17 Published in Blog

What Changes Occur After a Breakup? 

Everything Changes after a breakup. 

1) Expectations- No more daily expectations of displays of affection, obviously. 

2) Attraction- You are no longer together so do not expect the attraction between you and your ex to be the same.  This change is very difficult for people to handle.  Sex can be addicting, emotional attachment, co-dependancy, etc.  All of these things change.

3)Amount of credibility- Your ex may not believe a word you say after a breakup.  We find this to be the case since people often resort to long explanations and promises to change in order to reconcile.  This promise usually falls on deaf ears and by nature your word may not be as credible. 

For more information on the changes after a breakup , go to ....

Sex With My Ex. | Should I sleep with my ex?

Wednesday, 22 August 2012 20:33 Published in Blog

Should I have sex with my ex

Everyone that calls us wants to know when and how they can have intimacy with their ex. The answers totally and entirely depend on the situation first and foremost and a call into us is very necessary for this question to be answered based on your unique situation. 

Here are our general rules for having sex with your ex:

1)Gender- If your ex is female, it is most likely ok/good to have sex with her since the bond between females and sexual intercourse with her partner seem to be strengthened tremendously based on countless studies.  There are certainly instances in the reconciliation process where sex with your ex girlfriend is not recommended and you can find out by calling us if your situation is in this category.  However, as a general rule it is ok/good. 

2) Stage in the Reconciliation Process- Getting your ex back is a highly disciplined field and the timing is everything.  Regardless of gender, it depends where you are in the process to be certain if sex with your ex is ideal or actually acting as an impediment. 

For more information on sex with your ex, go to this link Having sex with your boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

The Best Strategy For Getting Your Ex Back

Thursday, 16 August 2012 19:25 Published in Blog

Is Strategy Important for Getting My Ex Back? | What is the Best Strategy for Getting My Ex Back?

The Number One Strategy for getting your ex back is to be emotionally stable. This is vital.  Since emotional stability is the first factor above all else, within emotional stability comes three sub strategies:

Three key things you want to avoid when contacting your ex if you are looking for sound emotional strategy.
1) Avoid any negative emotional topic- don’t emerge from the no contact period with immediate references to the past breakup or past arguments.  This is a psychological trap because you may want to start out with another apology or you think it is ok since time has gone by to bring up something you may have done “wrong”.  Do not do this.  Do not bring up negative emotional topics, ie: past arguments, past issues, or any past issue with a hint of negativity.
2) Do not expect an immediate return from your ex and do not react when a return does not come your way.
Click on this link to read the other strategies ... strategy continued with the zoomonkey system

What are my chances of getting my ex back?

Thursday, 16 August 2012 16:43 Published in Blog

What are my chances of getting my ex back?


"Will my ex ever really get back together with me?  The chances seem real slim... ? :( "

We get this question all the time regarding odds, percentages and chances. 

The answer depends on three main factors: 

1) how long the relationship lasted

2) the reasons for the breakup

3) the type of breakup (situational/spontaneous versus planned and orchastrated over time.)

The rest of this article on your chances of getting your ex boyfriend and/or girlfriend back can be found here: zoomonkey

Breakup Advice From Friends and Family For Getting My Ex Back

Saturday, 11 August 2012 13:07 Published in Blog

The Problem with Friends and Family for Getting Your Ex Back
 We all love our friends and family and rely on them more then anything in life. (We can't live without our family and friends.)  But please understand that you are going to get about five different pieces of advice from them before they grow tired of hearing about it and listening to it.   "Get over it..." "Move On..." "There are plenty of fish in the sea.." "If it wasn't meant to be , then it wasn't meant to be.." "He was an @ssho\le..""She was a bitch..." "You are better then your ex anyway..." Do we need to say more?  Your friends and family won't tell you things like, "ignore that text for a day and then respond tomorrow at 2:00 with a brief response and don't ask for a reply back..."  They will just say, "tell Harry to jump in the river, Francis..." or something like that... Getting your ex back takes serious strategy that is far beyond cliche's and "age old" advice.  It takes an angle and it takes playing games.  The games are counter intuitive. Your family and friends, unless trained in this field, most likely do not know the proper methods.

The Problem with Counselors, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists for
Getting Your Ex Back
We are not mental health professionals nor are we clinicians in any capacity. We are not a replacement for "counseling". We are coaches that help you get your ex back. Assuming a mental health professional could help you get your ex back, do you want to drive to an office and sit on a nice sofa for $250 an hour with someone who may have just spoken to a teenager regarding smoking weed?  Or better yet, a Doctor that has a private door in and a private door out that just handled his fifth psychitzophrenic for the day..?  Seriously.  Or a marriage counselor that deals with married couples having issues with infidelity and erectile dysfunctional issues.  Go spend your money on these professionals if you have issues that require mental health attention.  We are only laser focused on the tactical issue of getting your ex back similar to a sales coach helping with selling technique.  We are NOT Doctors or Counselors.  We are not going to ask you about your childhood.  We are tacticians looking at a very specific angle regarding a breakup and how to attract your ex back to you, not by asking you 'how you feel', but by telling you what works and what doesn't work based on our vast observations, study, and experience within the field of reconciliation.  Besides, you can talk to us in your underwear and you can call us 24/7. (As a mini disclaimer within this disclaimer...we are confident that somewhere out there exists members of the medical community that could help you get your ex back as good as we can, and if you find someone you like that fits your needs, we encourage you to try them out too... just remember, this is all we do. non-stop. constantly. )

The Problem with E-books for Getting your Ex Back

Saturday, 11 August 2012 12:23 Published in Blog

The Problem with E-books, Audio Education, and Video Education for Getting Your Ex Back:
The major problem with e-books and informational material regarding the topic of getting your ex back is that we believe they are ineffective similarly to a " beginners guide for proper swimming technique".  They do not work in our opinion; too many moving parts.  We subscribe to some of the concepts.  And we agree that if you could really execute on some of the ideas expressed, you would have some success depending on your situation.  However, your breakup is a moving, living, animal breathing on EMOTION and CHANGING circumstances.  The odds of you really being able to execute "no -contact" correctly is almost zero without coaching in our opinion.  The odds of you being able to know what to effectively say to your ex when you have to retreive items from her place because she is moving unexpectedly to Chicago is almost zero in our opinion.  The list goes on and on regarding real life, non-theory "stuff" that occurs during a breakup and during the re-attraction process that is NOT covered in the educational material that we have read.  Plus, the human brain requires another human brain for live interaction during highly emotional times such as these; preferably an expert.  Unfortunately, your brain has literally been hijacked by this breakup. Individual coaching is an absolute necessity if you want to fight human nature and use human nature simultaneously to get your ex back.  It's a daunting task to handle solo. 

What is the Friend Zone?

Saturday, 11 August 2012 08:04 Published in Blog

Have you ever wondered if you were too friendly with your ex where you were trapped into a "friend zone" and no longer a romantic prospect? It's a tricky situation that I coach on all the time in terms of dealing with your ex and contacting your ex. When you call zoo monkey, we will go over you situation but basically you want to stay somewhat reachable to your ex but not too friendly to the point where your ex is not valuing your time and/or not excited to speak and talk with you. The friend zone is a tricky place to be in because you do want to leave the door open for communication but y0u want it to be limited. Please feel free to add your comments or experiences with "the friend zone" as you have experienced it.

Three Things to Avoid When Contacting Your Ex

Saturday, 11 August 2012 08:03 Published in Blog

Ok, so you are finished with the "no contact" period or the "limited contact" period and you want to know how to contact your ex . Well first learn that there are three key things you want to avoid when contacting your ex.

1) Avoid any negative emotional topic- don't emerge from the no contact period with immediate references to the past breakup or past arguments. This is a psychological trap because you may want to start out with another apology or you think it is ok since time has gone by to bring up something you may have done "wrong". Do not do this. Do not bring up negative emotional topics, ie: past arguments, past issues, or any past issue with a hint of negativity.
(Read the other three things to avoid by the link(s) below)
As always, feel free to comment on this information below as we always like hearing your thoughts. -Phil Richman

How To Stop Missing Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend

Saturday, 11 August 2012 08:02 Published in Blog

1) Give Yourself Time to Miss Your Ex Within Reason- After a specific amount of time, you need to consciously tell yourself that anymore intense grieving and sorrow over your ex is unacceptable for your productive future. Your own time period is set by you but there are some relative norms:
The general rule is it takes one half the time you were with your ex to get over your ex. For instance if you were with your boyfriend for 4 years, it could take 2 full years to truly "get over him.." However, do not let this formula worry you if you feel two years is a long time (in this instance). We have ways to decrease this number by a fraction of the time when we speak to you about the ZooMonkey system for reconciliation and for getting over your ex.
By giving yourself some "healthy misery" time, however, you are allowing yourself to mourn in a healthy way and are not trying to speed up nature. It is very natural to go through a grieving period after a breakup. Do not beat yourself up over being upset. If you "give yourself" this time to mourn, then you will find that the time goes by faster since are not as hard on yourself but make sure you have a target date to move on past it and try to take things day at a time.
(click on the link below from to read more on how to stop missing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend)

Please feel free to comment on this article as you wish. We always enjoy your feedback, thoughts and input. -Phil Richman

We know this is a tough time.We understand.Everyone makes mistakes in life but how you handle the mistakes is what counts.
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